Or once again simply the absence of words.
Followed by the sound of someone being slapped. A trivial argument began emerging between two comrades. Which was followed by yet another slap. Both goblin and fourth dimensional butcher, had after all been forced together by circumstance. And now both beings were becoming irritated with each other.
[Get out of the chair.]
[I’ve had enough of you!]
The goblin slapped the butcher once again full force in the face.
The goblin did it again.
The butcher on the other hand tried to keep his hands in the goop. Which was currently forming the words you’re reading, using a mixture of goblin magical technology, and some heavy amounts of thick black sticky-tape. But-
[I am Vin Attorn, and I was once a hob-goblin of the slowest order.]
[I am now, but a humble goblin watcher of time and space, who has taken over the chair. As we move through the multi-dimensional universe, we are once more returned to the most backwards planet in the whole cosmos.]
Pause. The rustling of something metallic, which is then thrown away. Followed by the crunching sound of fried potato slices.
[Sorry. I had not yet eaten my breakfast.]
Pause once again. Complaining in the background that sounded slightly muffled.
[Today we are going to start our journey on the continent of Britstana. Where life is a little less primitive, and has been moving forward at the speed of a tortoise. Which continued trying to hike between two planets if that is at all possible.]
[So sit back and relax. As I take you on a journey through the so-called intelligent races of Caradesance. With me Vin Attorn in what I call, ‘the lifeforms of Caradesance’.]
We begin our journey through Britstana at the beach. Where the mid-day summers sun has brought the almost hairless homo sapiens out of their stone buildings. Like many intelligent beings across the multi-verse, these hairless apes tend to live in shared family groups. The creatures known as humans also found comfort in conforming to hierarchal obligations. That they tended not to share with each other.
In the animal kingdom, the most important factor to life is would be predators. Now as you know, a family unit keeps all its members safe. As the slowest of each pack is food for another animal. While that may still be true for some groups of humans in other places. Here on Britstana this hasn’t been true, since the trolls ate all the mountain lions. (Before they worked their way onto black moor panthers, enchanted forest tigers, and all the small-scale dragons.)
In the royal kingdom. The family unit had evolved over time into something which was meant to nurture, and care for each other. This bond was exactly what held the Thatcher family together. This household also lived in the fishing village of Nixa. Which was not so remarkably named after the local forest deity.
Their names for the record are Mic and Debra Thatcher, who had three children by the names of, Derk, Din, and Darren. Like all families currently on the beach, they were having fun on what was Mic’s day off. The children played with the pebbles, and had been told not to splash in the warm summer ocean. As Deb screamed at them to stop behaving like fools. Mr. Thatcher sat on the wooden pier with his friends watching their wives. Drinking the local ale.
For the moment they were all safe. Nothing can hurt our humans, whilst they are on land. Although there are things which lurk in the water that should not be so easily forgotten about. And I am not just on about the undercurrents.
Just beyond the rocky beaches out in deeper water. Laying in wait, were four large manic prandial fish. Named after their sweet, tasty, highly sugared flesh, (Which I am told tastes amazing with butter and lemon after being fried slowly.) and their obsessive collective nature. Fish in this case is a misnomer though, as these are more related to the lobster than a tuna. Although thanks to the magic of Caradesance you would think they were five-foot-long fish. Armoured and armed with pincers, where some fish might have a neck fin.
This collection of manic prandial was also a family unit. They might have been hunted by the fishermen of the royal kingdom, but once a prandial reaches maturity they can bring down a fishing boat. For this reason, mother, and father prandial, were keeping their two young close to them. Shielding them from the rocks being thrown into the water. Trying to figure out when the nets were coming.
A splash suddenly happened at the waters edge. All the members of the family unit could feel the vibrations in the water. This was new, and for the children a chance to eat something rare. Something which was just as equally tasty to them, as they are to us. The young didn’t wait for their parent’s permission to begin hunting. Permission to live and eat to the prandial are the same thing. They have permission to live, so they have the right to hunt. For all the armoured fish this was what they called the circle of life.
With the speed of the now extinct moor panther, the brothers zoomed off towards their prey. Within moments, they are close. No one has spotted them, so from their point of view, they are about to eat.
Derk, the youngest Thatcher child was playing in the water. Being only six-years-old. The kid was currently ignoring what the adults had told him about the ocean. As they weren’t paying him any attention, and the child simply wanted to splash around. That was what he was going to do. After all the small child simply didn’t understand what all the fuss was about.
The fuss though, was about to become apparent to Derk. He heard screaming from his mother. Which, over the waves, just sounded like she was having a go at him. Waving back, the lad smiled and splashed in the water some more. His father had already jumped off the pier, and was now trying to run through the knee-high water. Still, the splashing boy played in the salt water, ignoring all the warnings.
The adolescent prandial had sensed the secondary lighter splashing. But as their focus was on their lunch, they both ignored the adult human. They’d committed themselves to the hunt. So, they were going to eat, or be eaten, that was how the animal kingdom worked from their limited perspective.
The larger of the two manic fish reached the child first. The creature ignored the crying defence mechanism of its prey. Which began upon witnessing the lobster fish develop elongated spiderlike legs. Crawling along the rocky beach, and struggling to breathe, the eldest of the two prandial drew close enough to swipe with its pincer. Which barely missed the young boy, and had been the wrong tactic.
The creature had had its opportunity. Now, if it was going to hunt again, it needed to survive. Quickly the eldest of the two hunters, retreated into the safety of the ocean.
The smaller of the two predators had been smarter. Laying in wait until its brother retreated, it was able to judge distance and speed. Which was all it needed. As the fish launched itself from the water, its legs unfolded, and gripped its prey, pulling the miniature human into the ocean. All the prandial perceived was that its prey appeared to submit to its role in the food chain. As it dragged the child deeper into the water, drowning its food before it could be shared amongst the family, its older brother swam around it. The larger Prandial wondered if it should take down the larger human. A call from their parents determined his return. After all, the clams would soon open, and they would be forced to collect the pearls.
On the shores of the beach, life as the Thatcher family knew it had now changed. They were suffering the greatest loss possible, and their family unit had now been reduced. In the animal kingdom this kind of loss would need to be replaced. In the intelligent kingdom, the mother was currently blaming the father. The father was arguing with the mother. The villagers were watching with keen interest. While they all felt the loss of a tribe member.
[Next time on the lifeforms of Caradesance. We will be going to the natural home of the trolls. High in the valleys of the mountains of Mist, where these most interesting intelligent beings are forced into manual labouring roles.]